Got 99 excuses and no problems at all...

Everyone has problems, if we didn't we wouldn't be human. The problem I have is when people complain about things that are not a big deal.  I have been overwhelmed lately with people who think their world is falling apart and are so upset about everything. Last night at dinner I had to hear someone complain because someone the use not love won't buy them a 1500 dollar bag.  They complained how terrible this is and how it is so hard to work a part time job..blah blah blah...I'm over it! I have about forty of these stories that I hear daily and I think it is stupid and not worth my time.  Since my Grandfather died two years ago I look at the world differently. Here is my philosophy if you aren't dying, your family isn't dying, you aren't homeless, and you have love in your life suck it up.  The world isn't fair and no one cares. I know this is harsh, but its pretty much true.  DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF is what I'm saying. For example, I just lost the person I wanted to spend my life with and it sucks BIG time, but I sit next to a lady at one of my jobs who told me that it took her son six years to get over a girl he dated for two years. He actually left school because of this and at 28 is just now back in college. I know everyone deals with stuff differently, but I feel like we as people need to keep going forward and not back.  We need to take the things in life that challenge us everyday and pray and look deep inside and keep going. For 2012 I want everyone I know to look at me as an example of how to move forward and toward their dreams.  I feel like that would be the best gift to ever give anyone.
So if you read this (if anyone actually reads this) make a list of the things in your life that you aren't happy with and then look inside and out on how you can change this. If you can't change it try to work out a way where you can at least deal with it. Then make a list of the things you want to complete or try for 2012 and then a list of things you want to do before you die.  This will give you ways to move forward and live your life to the fullest. This is what I am going to do and i will share some of my list with you.

2012:
Get into law school
Buy new furniture
Learn to love what is given even if I want more
Go to church more
Only spend money that I have
Forgive more
Lose more weight
Travel in the U.S. more
Give more to charity
Be more thankful
Be more honest with people
(This is just a few......

Christmas is upon us! I wrapped some presents today (which turned out okay), but with Christmas comes sad and happy memories.  I think of all the Christmases that I have had and all of my favorite memories are with two people who are not in my life anymore. I was thinking how a person was still in my life, but he's not truly in my life, but I wish he was. I would love to go back and beg him to take me back and hope it would work out, but everyone has something or someone in their life that isn't good for them.  Kenny Cheney's You and Tequila is about a woman and tequila not mixing with him; about them not working, but him always going back.  My tequila is food and my You is Shawn. Everyone has their two things, but I think moving on and finding growth is recognizing what your two things are.  However, I can sit here and tell you what my two things are or have a conversation that makes everyone think I am okay and moving on, but its hard. I don't know when I will ever be perfectly fine, but I know that I am fine...I don't have cancer, I have my family, and my friends...yes it is hard losing someone, but I am okay and that is all we can wish for ourselves or our friends.

On a happier note it is getting to Santa's big day and I took some pictures for our holiday card and I will share them here.



Buttons looks like she might eat you, but I think she is smiling;)

The stages of getting over love

I thought I was doing really well about moving on and being single, but today the sadness has come back full force and has gripped me by my throat. I would really love to talk to him and give him a hug, but its not going to happen. I would love to know he is okay and doing well, but I won't know. I was driving home after a long day at work and this song came on. I have heard it before, but never really listened to it and I feel like right now this song is me...
Rascall Flatts- EASY
We broke up
yeah, it's tough
most guys would've been crushed
Wastin' their time
Wonderin' where they went wrong
No way, not me
Hey, I'm doing just fine
I'm not afraid of movin' on

It's easy going out on a Friday night
Easy every time I see her out
I can smile, live it up
The way a single guy does
But what she, what she don't know
Is how hard it is to make it look so
Easy

[Natasha Bedingfield]
The truth is
That I miss lyin' in those arms of his
But I don't ever let it show
I laugh and I act like
I'm having the time of my life
as far as he knows

It's easy goin' out on a Friday night
Easy, everytime I see him out
I can smile, live it up
The way a single girl does
But, what he, what he don't know
is how hard it is to make it look so
Easy
Oh, it's easy

Oh, it's easy goin' out on a Friday night
Oh, it's easy every time I see him out
I can smile, live it up
Forget about the way it was
But what she
Oh, what he don't know
What she don't know
Is how hard it is to make it look so
Easy
Look so easy

I knew it was too easy how well  I was getting over everything, but at the same time I am over a lot of it. I feel like a bit of a trader because I have loved someone for so long and I am easily getting over it; well I was until today.  I just want to be happy and have someone to share that with. I miss always having someone to count on to be there; who wants to hang out with you all the time. I think this is the part that suck:( If it was only easier, but then it wouldn't be life.

The Waiting Begins!

Last Saturday I took the LSAT. Everyone keeps asking me how I feel about it and to be honest I feel like I still want to be sick. I turned in my applications so I feel so relieved that everything is all done and complete. I just so badly want to hear that I got in somewhere! I mostly want to move in to an amazing apartment and be on my own again.  I need to live in my own space with my own things on my own terms. This will be the first time that I have ever lived out of state and I am so ready.  I have really been enjoying my time here for the last seven months, but now that I am free from the law applications I am enjoying myself even more. I have such a fear at the same time of it all not working out. Does anyone else feel like they do everything they can, but it is still never good enough? I was talking to someone tonight about how upsetting it is sometimes how people get things handed to them, but he said something so true to me, it wouldn't be as fulfilling if I didn't have to work for it. When I look back on my life I will see I worked my ass off and over came so much to get where I am today! I hope that for everyone.